Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
