sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
