pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I'm really busy with my period
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