you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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