Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
