how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
