She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
