Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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