You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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