I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
