Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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