he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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