That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
