This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
