I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
