3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
