google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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