Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize