I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
