***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
