Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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