So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He shit in the fireplace
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
