i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize