Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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