i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
