i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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