Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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