hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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