Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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