oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
