I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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