Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
