didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize