Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize