Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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