I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
