I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
