I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
