Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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