I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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