vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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