That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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