i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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