I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
time to smoke my breakfast
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
