Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
