OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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