I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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