Christians are straight up FREAKS
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
