Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize