I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
