i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
