I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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