i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
