Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
