let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
