walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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