and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
