so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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