Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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