sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I need moral support for this bender
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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