She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
